Caulifower Dippers

Great after-school snack, vaguely pizza flavor.

Get a whole cauliflower, chop it up, then puree it in a mixer. Yep, blitz the whole damn thing. Until it's like weird cauliflower snow. It gets everywhere.

Then boil up about an inch of water, dump in the cauliflower snow, cook it for 5-10 minutes until it's sort of soft. Then drain in a fine sieve. Let it cool a bit or you'll be injured in the next step.

Get a clean tea-towel and wring out the drained cauliflower like mitigating a disaster at the seaside. It'll be powdery and super-weird. Put it into a bowl.

Add a couple of eggs, LOTS of Italian herbs, or if you want some chili and stuff. Also add a good couple of handfuls of cheese.

Press into a flat tray-bake, bake at 180 for as long as it takes for it to take colour and dry out. Add a couple more handfuls of cheese on top, bake to finish off golden.

Let them cool a bit, chop them up, serve.

This goes really well with a dip of sour cream with paprika and lemon, seasoned.

Couldn't be healthier.

Grilled chicken with dukkah pasta

Dukkah - mixed nuts, lots of green herbs, in a blender, with olive oil and lemon juice (plenty of it). Make a large dukkah to the pasta ratio - in fact more like a paste than dukkah.

Grill the chicken, slice and serve absolutely plain apart from salt. (Breast.)

Boil pasta, with broccoli at the last moment. Mix dukkah in, season and add olive oil and lemon juice to taste.

Serve side by side.

Kids verdict: 'Fresh'

Super healthy.

Oriental Soba Mooning

Ok so this is fish and noodles, oriental flavours. We used moonfish today and it was delicious.

Sauce: Onions finely chopped (thinking of doing without them next time), kaffir lime leaf (sliced), lemongrass stalk (finely chopped), white wine. Simmer and boil down. Add a spoon of ginger marmalade. Then simmer, wiz in a blender, add fish sauce, lemon juice, butter, finish to a good zingy consistency.

Soba: Boil soba, add broccoli florets at the last minute, drain, dress with soy sauce and sesame oil.

Moon fish: Steam with a bit of salt.

Serve. Really good.

Lemon Slice

Lemon Slice - The BEST version

Ok, for the base we have:

• 150g butter (melted)
• 3/4 cup desiccated coconut
• 3/4 cup plain flour
• 3/4 cup sugar

Bake for about 15 minutes until it gets slightly golden.

For the topping, we have:

• 1 small tin passionfruit puree, strained
• grated rind and strained juice of 1 lemon
• 1 400g tin condensed milk (of course)
• 2tbps plain flour
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1 egg

combine, pour over the semi-cooked base. cook again.

Cool, dust with icing sugar, cut into fingers.

Give to children. Possibly adults.

Jams and Chutneys

One needs jam. And marmalade. Here are some recipes for when the time is right (ripe).

Orange Marmalade

Some make this with 2 sugar to 1 of fruit. I make it with 1 of sugar to 2 of fruit. 'Course it means you have to boil it for longer but it works just fine.

As for all citrus, peel the skin off the fruits leaving the pith behind. Slice the zested skin as fine as possible. set aside.

Cut the pith away from the remaining fruit. Discard.

Dice the pulp of the orange. I find there is no need to take the skin away - you're going to cook it for so long it won't matter.

Collect any seeds and sew them into a muslin bag. This helps set the marmalade.

Combine the shredded peel and the diced pulp. Weigh. Put in pot with half that amount of sugar. Add water. How much you add depends on how dark you want the marmalade. The darker, the more water, but then of course you have to boil it for longer. As a general rule it should be enough if you add sufficient for it to come just below the top of the fruit mix before you add the sugar.

Boil gently. Remove any scum arising. Seal in sterilized jars once it passes the set test.

Lemon Marmalade

Same as with the Orange, but more sugar is allowed. I would go as far as 1:1. Not more, though.

Apricot Jam

Stone and dice the fruit. Ratio of 1:1. Add pectin as per instructions on packet as it will be runny otherwise. No added water necessary. Zest and juice of one lemon per kilo of diced fruit gives it a nice edge. Blitz some of the jam once cooked and mix back in to give a more spreadable consistency.

Peach Jam

As above.

Strawberry Jam

Had huge trouble with this one, would not set even with twice the recommended pectin and no water. Ratio of 1:1, which might be too much. Also with one lemon per kilo of fruit. In the end had to thicken it up with arrowroot afterwards, and added a touch of red food colouring just to spic it up while I was at it (worth doing this. Real strawberries cook a little dull). Make sure not to boil this too vigorously or you'll destroy the flavor.

Mango Jam

Quite the best of all the jams. Extraordinary. 300g of sugar to every kilo of fruit, peeled stones and pureed. Boil the sugar with half the quantity of water (i.e. 150 ml per 300 grams of sugar) until it starts forming threads - this is about the soft ball stage. Add the puree, cook for 10 minutes or so, gently. That's it. Absolutely divine.

Tomato Chutney

1kg tomatoes
1/2 kg onions
250g brown sugar
150ml vinegar

5 cloves cardamom
4 cloves garlic
1 chili
4cm ginger
 Bubble bubble boil and trouble.

Enjoy!

Marzipan Pouffies

There’s no marzipan and they’re not hugely poufy, but still, that’s what they are. Good emergency I-Need-Something-Sweet-Now item from store cupboard. You need:



Two frozen sheets of puff pastry

1 cup almond meal

0.5 cup icing sugar

A few slurps of Amaretto or almond essence (optional)

1 egg

A few dried apricots (optional)

Lay one of the sheets flat on a greased baking tray. Combine the almond meal, sugar, and the white of the egg (keep the yolk) with just enough Amaretto or almond essence and water to make it into a thick paste. If you’re using the apricots, chop them up and add too. Spread on the bottom sheets, cover with the other, seal round the edges. Combine the yolk with either more amaretto and a bit of sugar or just water and brush over the top, bake on high until it’s done (golden and… poufy).

 You can serve this warm with ice cream over the top in squares, but it’s a little hard to cut the bottom layer in a bowl. I think the sick-cut method when they’re a bit cooler (making them delectable finger food) is preferable.

Chocoholic's First Aid

If you've a chocoholic who needs urgent resuscitation, this could be the recipe to grab. You’ll require (per one patient):

 

A large mug or oversize ramekin

4 tablespoons of flour (add baking powder if plain)

2 melted tablespoons of butter

2.5 tablespoons of sugar

1 tablespoon cocoa

1 egg

A few chocolate drops

 

Mix all the dry ingredients in the ramekin, add the butter and egg, mix, add choc drops. Microwave until it stops rising. Administer to your chocoholic with action-pump squirty cream accompaniment. They will soon lose that mad look and relax, and you can get on with your evening.